Poems to whisper, Poems to SCREAM (Teen Poetry)

Poems to whisper, Poems to SCREAM 

by Jessica Marsico

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These 10 poems are from a collection of poetry written between 1994 and 1999, when I was in high school. Some of them were published in zines (both online and print), some of them have since been published in college writing collections, and some have never seen the light of day.
They were inspired by the dichotomy between being a teen with lots of pain and an already difficult past and living amidst breathtaking apple orchards and rolling hills in the farming community of Marlboro, NY.
Re-use with permission only, please: xwildmountainhoneyx@gmail.com

*** 

Opening

I want you

 to (with either skeptical trepidation or full steam ahead)

test these words

for any sense of familiarity

for that welcome home, comfort feeling

and for that realization that you are not

  alone

I want you

 to (with neither apathy nor empathy)

take these words

for what they are, or need to be

for devastating melancholy and unrelenting joy

and sink into the soil of affect

  alone

I want you

 (in any form you've come)

And offer myself

 (however I may be seen)

Read on, comrades in separation -

Read on

***
Now Is the Time, As Always

We are hanging on by a thread, us all,

 except the ones who've chosen metal chords

   and guns, and strategies, and revenge…

     and war.

I feel spread in thousands of directions

 but tied down to imaginary stakes

   running so high and so deep…

     denying freedom and the joy it creates.

Thankfully, in the morning time, babies are born

We breathe in and out

The sun rises, birds sing – in some places this remains everything

Eventually the day grows weary,

Shadows lie on orchard hills

Elders die smiling, cats nap on windowsills

 The sun sets and the moon does rise

And stars shine bright and high

But some people have forgotten this,

 the holiness of sunrise and of dew's gentle kiss

   and the truth that this is all that matters

     if matter is important to us

          at all.

***
Clouds and Foxes

Today the clouds were shifty and loony,

Sneaky and brilliant as a fox

Thin and luminous

 but for the inky, shadowy blending

           right through.

Thick as cotton, moving gently steadily strong

  with the growing wind.

The cold came in today,

 with those devious, cunning clouds

Simultaneously casting shine and shadow

 Along the mountainous valley.

***

Safety

I ride this coast of inability to speak

  Mute-iny

As if there isn't enough sunshine to brighten my shadows

   I pull away, weepy,

Still unable to express what lies beneath

I need a disappearing act,

Want to steal those years from Pain

   and float them in liquid Love

J'ai voudrais voler, seulement

       free

               from

                          fear

Want to sleep forever in blissful dreams

Want to float as a leaf down crystal streams

Save me, oh sweet self

   Safe me.

***
Pleasure's Rise and Fall

August and September were my

pinnacles of pleasure

But as October crept nearer

  she only gave to me

The End.

***

Summer into Winter

 Welcome!  

September

               (then October...

                                    then November...)

and so I welcome Autumn into Winter.

   

She creeps in stealthily

           unseen, out of sight

spreading her chilly pale fingers over the night

If I sound a bit bitter

  (which I'm rarely known to be)

Please see that to me it's

                   Summer into Winter

not Summer into Autumn, as I wish I could see.

***
Snow Enlightenment

Something woke me so early this day!                              

A light crept through the glass                                                              

As a mouse creeping through the grass                              

And I pricked my feline ears to sense it                                        

From my second story sleeping

My view was simply branches                                        

Laden heavily with heavenly snow                              

This white – nothing so pure as this white                                    

Nothing else can remind me so vividly                              

         Of being womb-ed

***
(Another Winter Poem)

I've been feeling rather out of breath

     like an anxiousness still building

        from winters upon winters

                 of introversion

Introspectively, the part that plays

     simply wishes for months' hibernation

         relief from winters upon winters

                 of solitude

Choice is a rather funny word now

     with the glittering snow imprisoning

         like winters upon winters

                of compensation

                  for the grey

***
Ember

Charred blocks of wood, blue-greying and pale

Dripping their essence

To the embers below

Admitting mortality, radiating heat

Moving with a rhythm all their own –

A lesson to us all

Throbbing and beating, pulsatingly delicious

Dripping still

Like tangerine juice down my summertime chin

I admire the wildness, the untameability

Blue Flame, Red Ember

***
Sunset Driving South

My breath is lost then blissfully found

in the early evening, before the Moon takes over

and the Sun scatters His light across hills

 creates shadows between

the orchards of brown dormancy,

before the sparkle of snows

and in the meantime stains cotton clouds

with berry juice

 wild purples, brilliant reds

A final show before He acquiesces power

  to the Night.

She begins gently, bare black trees against

 most Royal blue

       a stillness stirs

in the way only a Goddess can do

and Stars dance so high!

 Slowly She rises... shape-shifter Moon,

  singing our song

perfectly in tune

And I somehow know

     nothing will ever be the same

As we are partners with Her change.